Six Sessions, Some Charcoal, and the Collection I Never Planned to Write

I didn’t go to the session planning to write poetry. I went because one of my kiddos was there at the project, and an adult had to be in the building. So I went. To sit in a room for an hour.

There were twelve, maybe fifteen of us around a table. Cuppas. A pile of quilting materials heaped in the middle – fabric, thread, sewing kits, colours and textures stacked high. Foster carers, adopters, kinship carers, special guardians, connected persons carers. All of us there because we’d chosen, in one way or another, to stand in the gap for a child who needed someone to.

Continue reading

Someone Put a Lit-Up Gaggar on My Head

Someone put a lit-up gaggar on my head at the jaggo and honestly, I’ve never felt more at home.

The jaggo pot photo. Me laughing with it balanced on my head, full phulkari, lit up
The jaggo pot photo. Me laughing with it balanced on my head, full phulkari, lit up

Four days in London for one of our closest friends’ weddings. Maiyaan Thursday afternoon. Jaggo Thursday evening. Wedding ceremony Saturday morning. After party Saturday night. If you don’t know Punjabi weddings, that itinerary doesn’t convey the scale of it. The food, the noise, the colour, the dancing, the sheer commitment to celebration across every single event.

Continue reading

Friday at 5

Look at that sky.

That was Friday at five o’clock. Me, at the bottom of the garden, sausage in hand, face tipped up at whatever that was happening above the rooftops. Kiddo toasting marshmallows. Jatinder doing his caveman thing at the barbecue.

That right there is what Fridays at 5pm are for.

I caught the sun a bit. Worth every second.

Continue reading

We Planted Onions in April. They’re Fine.

We planted onions in April.


Yes, April. Before you say anything, I know.


He spotted them in the shop, asked if we could plant them, and honestly, what was I supposed to say? Late variety, near enough, in they went.
This morning he came to find me. Sprouts.

Actual sprouts. The look on that kid’s face over a few green shoots poking out of the dirt was absolutely worth the gardening shame.


Autumn. Curries. Job done.

A single determined green shoot pushing up through the dirt. Didn’t get the memo about optimal planting windows.


I don’t know why we wait for the right moment to start things. The optimal window closes, we shrug, and then the onions sit in the kitchen going soft until someone throws them out.


He didn’t know there was a wrong time. So he just started.


Honestly? Best gardening advice I’ve had in years.

Several small green shoots breaking through dark soil in a raised bed. Planted in April. Absolutely thriving. Unbothered

The Beautiful, Exhausting Chaos of a Full House


My eldest foster lad is back from uni. The “quiet life” I’d almost convinced myself I was enjoying has packed its bags. Good riddance, honestly.


He’s been struggling. After a lot of soul-searching, he made the call to come home. If I’m being straight with you, I have my own thoughts about the decision. I’m not entirely sure it’s the right one. But I’m completely, unconditionally on board with him. He weighed it up, he decided what his head needed, and he came home. That took more courage than staying would have. That’s all I need to know.


So. My house is upside down. My kitchen is a permanent disaster zone. And I’ve regained an additional loveable twat whose apparent life purpose is to torment me at every available opportunity. The cheek is relentless.

Continue reading

The Twixtmas Trap and the Myth of the Fresh Start

Because frankly, “New Year, New You” is a total shit idea.

The annual circus has arrived. Right on cue, we’ve hit that “Twixtmas” stage—that weird, blurry week between Christmas and the New Year where the “New Year, New You” industrial complex kicks into high gear.


I can’t look at a screen without being bombarded by adverts for PureGym memberships or “life-changing” masterclasses. My social feed is a toxic sludge of Dry January manifestos and, recently, people shouting about military calisthenics in the freezing cold. Even the supermarkets have swapped the mince pies for those “low-fat” rice cakes—which, for anyone watching their blood sugar, are basically flavoured cardboard disks that spike your levels if you even look at them sideways.


It’s a collective fever dream of performative productivity, and frankly, it’s a shit idea.


1. The Myth of the “Fresh Start”
The idea that you need a specific square on a calendar to change your life is the ultimate form of procrastination. If you’ve been sitting on your arse waiting for January 1st to “start” something, you’re not just behind—you’re probably going to quit.

Continue reading

When the Coos Come Home: My Christmas Out of Office Manifesto

If you remember my summer OOO, you’ll know the Highland Coos had the right idea: stand in a field, look majestic, and ignore everyone. Well, I’ve officially taken their lead for the Christmas break. My pasture has simply moved indoors for the winter.

Continue reading

The Holiday Hustle: Your 2025 Guide to Not Losing It

Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year, they say. Whoever “they” are clearly didn’t have to coordinate school nativity costumes, work deadlines, Secret Santa for seventeen different groups, and the small matter of keeping tiny humans fed, entertained, and vaguely civilised throughout a two-week break.

For working parents, December isn’t magical—it’s a full-contact sport. Self-employed? Add that delightful 24/7 mindset where your brain never quite switches off and you’ve got yourself a proper festive nightmare wrapped in tinsel.

Here’s what I’ve learned: you can actually enjoy Christmas with kids. Not the Instagram version with matching pyjamas and elaborate Elf on the Shelf scenarios. The real version, where you’re occasionally horizontal, sometimes laughing, and definitely not white-knuckling your way through every moment.

The trick? Lower your standards, raise your boundaries, and remember that rest isn’t selfish—it’s strategic. When you drag yourself back to work in January running on fumes and Quality Street, you’re no good to anyone.

Continue reading

🚨 A Quick Update: Apologies for the Missing Post

You’ll have to forgive me, but the Friday post for the “Stop Being Stupid” mini-series is currently absent. Normal service will be resumed soon, I promise.


Frankly, I’ve just spent six hours in A&E with my eldest son, who is 23. He’s been absolutely felled by the mother of all flu strains, which is bad enough, but here is the fun part: almost all of his symptoms were those of carbon monoxide poisoning. The doctor this morning thought they were too similar, which had me terrified, especially because of a mini-disaster at his work the day before where he had the potential to be exposed.

Continue reading

Article 3: Building Organisational Resilience: What My Entrepreneurial Journey Taught Me About Third-Sector Governance

Read time: 6 minutes

This is the final piece in a three-part series. In Part 1, I shared my personal journey into self-employment, and in Part 2, I explored the lessons learned. Now, let’s apply those insights to third-sector governance and organisational resilience.


From Personal Leap to Organisational Strategy

My journey from redundancy to building a successful consultancy—a story of fear, faith, and finance—might seem purely entrepreneurial, but the lessons are profoundly relevant to the challenges faced by charity trustees and third-sector leaders today.

My experience navigating personal precarity mirrors the funding precarity many organisations operate within. By applying the lessons I learnt about support, cash flow, and flexibility, charities can build truly resilient, mission-driven governance structures.

Expanded Learning Points for Third-Sector Organisations

1. Support Systems Enable Bold Decisions

Just as my mother created a critical personal safety net, third-sector organisations must cultivate their own organisational support systems before periods of significant change.

  • Board and Governance Support: A board that understands strategic risk and stands behind bold moves is the organisational equivalent of having a partner saying, “You can do this!”
  • Funder Relationships: Deep, honest relationships with key funders create space for innovation and can act as a financial breathing space during transitions.
  • Peer Organisation Networks: Learning from peer organisations that have walked similar paths provides both emotional solidarity and practical knowledge during times of change.

Question for your board: Have you built relationships strong enough to support you through a major organisational pivot?

2. Practical Wisdom Matters: Focusing on Cash Flow

My uncle’s wisdom to focus on cash coming in—not just invoices going out—has immediate and vital implications for third-sector organisations.

  • Income Reality vs. Funding Promises: Charities celebrate grant awards, but what truly matters is when the money actually arrives. You must plan for the gap between promised funding and bank deposits.
  • Reserves Planning: Third-sector organisations need realistic reserves policies that acknowledge the sector’s financial vulnerabilities. Organisations with well-thought-out reserves weathered the COVID storm far better.
  • Financial Literacy Across the Organisation: For better decisions to emerge, financial understanding can’t be confined to the Treasurer. Every team member and trustee must understand the organisation’s true financial reality.

Question for your board: Do you know exactly how long your organisation could operate if its next expected payment was delayed by three or six months?

3. Flexibility Aligns with Priorities

My ability to adapt my work around caring for my mother offers a powerful model for charities considering their internal structures and values.

  • Mission-Aligned Working Practices: Your internal practices must reflect the values you promote externally. Flexibility isn’t just a kindness; it’s strategically advantageous for retaining essential talent.
  • Resilience Through Adaptation: When you build flexible, adaptable structures, your organisation can pivot quickly. Adaptable structures and mindsets allow organisations to survive external shocks better than rigid operational models.

Question for your board: Does your organisational culture truly align with the values you promote to the world?


Your Action: The Multi-Layered Safety Net Audit

Gather your board and senior team and work through these steps to map your organisation’s true security profile:

1. Map Your Internal Safety Nets
What resources, skills, relationships, and unrestricted reserves exist within your organisation that could support bold moves or weather a crisis?

2. Identify External Safety Nets
Which funders, partners, peer organisations, or key community supporters could provide crucial backing during transition periods?

3. Assess Your Safety Net Gaps
Be ruthlessly honest. Where is the organisation most vulnerable? What critical supports—financial, knowledge-based, or relational—are missing right now?

4. Create a Safety Net Development Plan
Outline concrete, practical steps to strengthen your weakest areas before you need them. Focus on building reserves, diversifying income, or formalising partnerships.

5. Design a “Bold Move Proposal”
Now, using your newly mapped and strengthened safety nets, what strategic opportunity could your board now consider pursuing that previously felt too risky?

This exercise moves you from feeling vulnerable to feeling ready. It’s the difference between reacting to a crisis and having the internal confidence to steer your mission effectively.

Missed Part 1? Read it here – https://theartofstupidity.com/2025/10/31/article-1of3-tough-decisions/

Missed Part 2? Read it here –
https://theartofstupidity.com/2025/11/04/article-2-three-key-lessons/