Let Them Choose


School meetings are usually dull. Today, not so much.

One of the kids I care for is changing schools tomorrow, and after a horrendous few weeks of paperwork, a new chapter is finally beginning.

During a meeting today, the professionals from school kept calling me “mum.” Repeatedly. Almost like they were daring him to correct them. Aaaand…  He didn’t – not once.

Instead, he tried not to laugh, giving me side glances with a knowing twinkle in his eye that said, “You see what just happened?” So I quietly joined in, doing my best to keep a straight face.

Later, I mentioned that R would be picking him up for therapy. The school asked, “Who’s R?” and without thinking, I shot back, “His brother.” That was it – instant coughing fit as he tried to smother his laughter. By the time we got home, the car had turned into a comedy sketch, with him chanting “mum, mum, mum” on repeat like the seagulls in Finding Nemo squawking “mine.” I was howling.


I leave it to him to decide what to call me. After a rocky few months, he’s settled on “Auntie” to most of his friends, and if he chooses, “Mum” at school. It’s his choice, his life, and I trust him to decide how he wants me to be known in public.

I’m not here to replace anyone from my foster kids’ lives before me. But I will mother them in every sense that counts: fiercely protecting them, fighting for them, and loving them unconditionally. They need patience, care, acceptance, and laughter – I will give them all of that, every single day.

And I’m lucky to have my birth kids along for the ride, especially when R starts conspiring – you just know it’s going to get interesting.

At least I didn’t get called Gran.

Anyway.

You know what I’d like people to take away from this rambling?

Professionals, friends, anyone involved: respect the voice of the kids in care. Let them tell you what they need. Let them guide you on what matters most.

Because, in the end, it’s not about what I’m called – it’s about them feeling seen, safe, and loved.

Welcome to Third Sector Support Solutions: Where Every Organisation Matters

Read time: approximately 8 minutes

Things Are Tough at the Best of Times—We’re Here to Make It Easier for You, Not Harder

Hello there. I’m Constance Grayson, and I’m really glad you’ve found your way here.

After working in the UK’s charity and community sector for over 20 years, I’ve noticed something wonderful: some of the most powerful changes happen in the most ordinary places. Around kitchen tables where neighbours decide enough is enough. In community centres where someone puts up a hand and says “I’ll help with that.” In conversations between people who simply refuse to accept that things can’t get better.

I’ve also noticed that these everyday heroes often face exactly the same hurdles as the big charities when it comes to getting funding—but without the resources, jargon dictionaries, or dedicated teams to help them navigate it all.

That’s why Third Sector Support Solutions exists. We believe that good ideas, genuine commitment, and real community need should be able to access the resources they deserve—whether your paperwork comes on fancy letterhead or you’re still figuring out what a “case for support” actually means.

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✏️ Professionally Speaking…

What I do, why I do it, and why it matters.

Let’s be honest: the third sector can be a bit of a maze.

One minute you’re sorting safeguarding paperwork and planning a local event, the next you’re trying to decode a funding application written in what looks like legal Latin. And all the while, you’re trying to actually make something happen for your community.

That’s where I come in.

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Start Now: Ditch Date-Specific Resolutions

The start of a new year often brings the pressure to set resolutions, aim for change, and hit reset. But here’s the truth: waiting for the perfect time—like the beginning of the year or the next Monday—to start making progress can be a trap. It creates unnecessary pressure and often sets us up for failure. The best time to start is right now, no matter what day it is.

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When the Odds Are 2%: Should You Apply?

Seeing this screenshot really annoys me.

Picture this: you’ve found a funder that perfectly matches your client’s ethos, their work, and their goals. It’s a rare alignment of values and priorities, a golden opportunity—or so it seems. Then, you scroll down their website and see this:

Read more: When the Odds Are 2%: Should You Apply?

“We are currently receiving a high number of requests, which means the success rate for applicants is about 2%.”

You pause. The glow of possibility dims. Questions race through your mind. Why did they open the grant round at all? Why not close it early if demand is that overwhelming? And perhaps the most pressing question of all: is it even worth the charity’s effort to invest time, resources, and money into crafting a stellar application for this funder?

Let’s be honest: the grant application process isn’t quick or cheap. It takes a lot to write a compelling bid—gathering data, aligning your narrative to their priorities, and creating a budget that fits like a glove, and when the odds are as steep as 2%, you can’t help but wonder if the time spent could be better used elsewhere.

But here’s the rub: someone has to be in that 2%. Could it be you? If the funder truly aligns with your mission, the answer might still be yes, but, before diving in, weigh up the costs. Ensure the potential funding is really worth the effort and consider if there are alternative funders with better odds.

Because while a perfect match is rare, your resources are even rarer.

This post is part of my ‘No-Nonsense Nonprofit’ series. I’m Connie – consultant at Third Sector Support Solutions Ltd, where I help social sector organisations untangle the messy stuff and write bids that get funded. This blog lives on The Art of Stupidity – my honest, human space for sharing what I’ve learned in the field.

The Holiday Hustle: Reclaiming Your Sanity as a Working Parent

Christmas is a magical time filled with family, food, and festivities—but for parents, it can also be a whirlwind of planning, present-wrapping, and keeping kids entertained. Add work stress into the mix, and “relaxing” can feel like a distant dream.

But here’s the good news: with a bit of prep and a healthy dose of realism, you can unwind over the holiday season—even with kids around. Prioritizing downtime isn’t just about enjoying the present moment; it’s an investment in your future success. When you return to work refreshed and recharged, you’ll be better equipped to tackle challenges and perform at your best.

Let’s talk about practical ways to relax, switch off from work, and enjoy Christmas without chasing perfection (because perfect is exhausting, and frankly, not that fun).

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Stoic Solutions for the Overwhelmed

Stoicism is ancient—born in the streets of Athens over 2,000 years ago, with philosophers like Zeno, Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius who shared a simple, timeless goal: help people live better lives by focusing on what they can control and accepting what they can’t. Although Stoicism has been around for millennia, its principles still resonate today, possibly more than ever. After all, life in the 21st century is full of distractions, pressures, and a tendency to overcomplicate things. Stoicism, with its age-old wisdom, has influenced society and shaped people’s lives by teaching calm resilience and guiding us to prioritize what truly matters.

So, how can we pursue what we really want without being sidetracked or overwhelmed? Here’s a look at prioritizing our desires with a dose of humor, Stoic wisdom, and some low-stress strategies.

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Celebrate Success (6)

We were talking on an earlier post about schemas and the effect they can have on making you feel guilty because you forget about all the brilliant, spectacular things you have achieved. Well, a to do list that you have vanquished can be just the thing to set you up to achieve more, it helps you feel satisfied and productive in your day. that vanquished to do list is tangible proof that you are capable of accomplishing anything you want to – given enough time and ability to focus. So celebrate it!

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